Thursday, March 29, 2007

it all makes sense now

Man Leads Chase, Claims He's Dick Cheney

Thursday, March 29, 2007

(03-29) 12:55 PDT Stratford, Conn. (AP) --
A man was taken to Bridgeport Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation after he led authorities on a high-speed chase and then claimed to be Vice President Dick Cheney, police said.
John Spernak, 42, later admitted he wasn't Cheney but said he was actually "Charlie's Angels" star Jaclyn Smith, police said. He also claimed to be the husband of Paris Hilton's sister.
Police said Spernak, driving at more than 90 mph Monday night, hit a patrol car and was shocked with a stun gun before they could arrest him. He was charged with attempted first-degree assault, engaging police in a pursuit, reckless driving, criminal mischief, interfering with police and being in a town park after dark.
Police said they were on routine patrol when they spotted Spernak in his parked car. As they approached, he drove away.
He eventually pulled into his own driveway, but police shocked him because he wouldn't get out of the car, they said.
Court officials said Spernak had not appeared in Bridgeport Superior Court as of Wednesday, but Stratford police could not provide an update on his status. No one answered the phone Wednesday afternoon at a number listed for Spernak's address.
___

Information from: Connecticut Post,

www.connpost.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/29/national/a125550D52.DTL

baseball basics

11 Things: Baseball basics

Thursday, March 29, 2007

1. AT&T Park: The home of the San Francisco Giants and site of Major League Baseball's 2007 All-Star game on July 10. Not to be confused with? A great name for a baseball park.

2. McAfee Coliseum: The home of the Oakland Athletics until at least 2010. Not to be confused with? A great baseball park.

3. 21st Amendment: A popular SoMa bar and restaurant at Second Street and De Boom. Not to be confused with? The Second, Fifth or 18th Amendments.

4. Zeke's: An old-school SoMa baseball bar and restaurant at Third Street and Brannan. Not to be confused with? Thomas Keller's French Laundry.

5. Connecticut Yankee: A Potrero Hill baseball bar and restaurant at 17th Street and Connecticut. Not to be confused with? A lovely environment for Yankee fans.

6. Flaxseed oil: A nutritional health supplement or drying oil used in painting or varnishing. Not to be confused with? Flaxseed oil.

7. Rich Aurilia: The same guy who used to put up great numbers for the Giants. Not to be confused with? The same guy who used to put up great numbers for the Giants.

8. Bengie Molina: The Giants' new catcher. Not to be confused with? Felix Molina, Gustavo Molina, Jose Molina or Yadier Molina.

9. Milton Bradley: Solid Oakland A's hitter who put up great numbers in last year's playoffs. Not to be confused with? The makers of Battleship, Candyland, Connect Four, Don't Break the Ice, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Jenga, KerPlunk, Operation, Perfection, Simon, Stratego, Trouble, Twister and Yahtzee.

10. RISP: An acronym for Runners in Scoring Position. Not to be confused with? Boston's Coco Crisp, a 2006 acronym for "choking with runners in scoring position."

11. Fantasy baseball: A popular ESPN, CBS Sportsline and Yahoo statistical game that you, your mom and everyone else will be neurotically checking every few seconds for the next six months.
Not to be confused with? A productive day at the office.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/29/NSG8UOQD691.DTL

Thursday, March 22, 2007

1979

11 Things: 1979

Thursday, March 22, 2007

1. Smashing Pumpkins' "1979": "Double cross the vacant and the bored/ They're not sure just what we have in the store ..." www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRuG1_FNSb8

2. mewithoutYou's "January 1979": "My life is a cup of sugar/ I borrowed before time began/ and forgot to return" www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcQ4TnyCyE0

3. Born in 1979: Zhang Ziyi, Irina Slutskaya, Coco Crisp, Flick Shagwell, Tracy McGrady, LaDainian Tomlinson and Norah Jones.

4. "Apocalypse Now" (1979): Steve McQueen turned down the role of Captain Willard. Al Pacino was considered. Harvey Keitel was cast. Two weeks into shooting, Francis Ford Coppola replaced him with Martin Sheen. The rest is history.

5. "The Warriors" (1979): Cyrus: "Can you dig it?" Yes Cyrus, we can. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bZB3Hano5E

6. Punk: The Clash release "London Calling," Joy Division releases "Unknown Pleasures," Buzzcocks release "A Different Kind of Tension" and "Singles Going Steady," the Talking Heads release "Fear of Music" and the Damned release "Machine Gun Etiquette."

7. Sid Vicious: Releases clenched fist and dies from drug overdose ... tragically paving way for Courtney Love to play Gretchen in "Sid and Nancy."

8. ESPN debuts: With an exciting slow-pitch softball game on Sept. 7, 1979.

9. Rock: AC/DC releases "Highway to Hell," Van Halen releases "Van Halen II," the Cars release "Candy-O," Pink Floyd releases "The Wall" and Supertramp releases "Breakfast in America."

10. Patty Hearst: Then-President Carter commutes her sentence on Feb. 1, 1979. She later moves to Connecticut and begins appearing in a variety of John Waters films. President Clinton grants a full pardon on his final day in office.

11. DFA1979: Originally "Death From Above," DFA had to change its name after receiving complaints from Death From Above Records. Sebastian Grainger chooses his birth year because it was the final year of the last cool decade we've seen. We don't disagree.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/22/NSGOSOLARK1.DTL

Thursday, March 15, 2007

green

11 Things: Green

Thursday, March 15, 2007

1. Envy: (Psychology) Because it's one of the seven deadly sins ... along with lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath and failing to turn off your car alarm.

2. Aer Lingus: (Travel) Because it's Irish for Lufthansa, which is German for Aeroflot, which is Russian for Air Fleet, which isn't nearly as interesting.

3. Greenland: (Geography) Because the longest day of the year is considered a national holiday ... and because the country will soon be entirely green.

4. Tom Green: (Comedy) Because of the chad ... and because no one ever sees him anymore (with the exception of his parents, in their bedroom at 4 a.m.).

5. Mondegreens: (Writing) Because they sound very much like Sylvia Wright and Jon Carroll.

6. Greens: (Restaurant) Because most of us secretly wish we were vegetarians ... and because I really didn't want to mention the Jolly Green Giant.

7. Norman Greenbaum: (Rock) Because I still don't understand why "Spirit in the Sky" was listed on Clear Channel's list of questionable songs after 9/11 ... and because Greenbaum currently lives in the North Bay.

8. Samuel Beckett: (Theater) Because staying the course has become far more absurd than "Waiting for Godot."

9. The Undertones: (Punk) Because "Teenage Kicks," "Get Over You" and "It's Gonna Happen" are three fantastic Irish punk songs ... and because I really didn't want to mention Green Day.

10. Soylent Green: (Film) Because of Edward G. Robinson ... and because sustainable growth and overpopulation are rarely taken seriously enough.

11. The Great Gatsby: (Literature) Because "Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther ..." and because F. Scott Fitzgerald is just one more example of a great Irish American.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/15/NSG1KOHAJ71.DTL

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

there were these images

Hard-Core Porn Interrupts News Show
Wednesday, March 14, 2007

(03-14) 18:29 PDT Mesa, Ariz. (AP) --
A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw. The incident Monday night on KPPX-TV was "an act of human sabotage" at the Phoenix-area station, said ION Television, which operates the station.
"We have launched a rigorous investigation, and any implicated employees will face strict disciplinary action and termination," ION Media Networks spokeswoman Leslie Monreal said in a statement.
Brenda Schodt, of Chandler, said she was shocked to look up and see graphic sex acts on her television screen.
"Maybe five or 10 minutes into the show there was no volume," Schodt said. "I thought it was the TV, but when I looked up, there were these images."
ION Television, based in West Palm Beach, Fla., declined to say whether the pornography aired beyond the Phoenix market.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/14/national/a131032D87.DTL

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina, part II

Students' `vagina' Suspensions Lifted
By JIM FITZGERALD, Associated Press Writer
Tuesday, March 13, 2007

(03-13) 14:48 PDT White Plains, N.Y. (AP) --
The one-day suspensions imposed on three high school students for including the word "vagina" in a reading from "The Vagina Monologues" have been rescinded, one girl's mother said Tuesday.
Louise Katzin, mother of 16-year-old Hannah Levinson, said the school superintendent called her Monday night to say the suspensions had been lifted.
Calls by The Associated Press to the other students, Megan Reback and Elan Stahl, also 16, were not immediately returned Tuesday. School board President Peter Breslin said he could not comment on school discipline matters.
The girls' defiance of school officials, who had told them not to use the word at the March 2 reading, had won support from Eve Ensler, author of "The Vagina Monologues," and many teachers and parents in the district. Ensler has since accepted an invitation from parents to speak at the school, a visit that was originally scheduled for Tuesday, but has been postponed to March 28.
Ensler, who had called the suspensions "a throwback to the Dark Ages," said Tuesday that lifting the suspensions showed "the intelligence and grace and dignity of these girls."
"I think it's a victory for free speech," she said. "I've always hoped that the play would engender dialogue and education for younger girls around their bodies and their rights."
The girls acknowledged they were being insubordinate, but said it was wrong to censor literature and to treat the word "vagina" as controversial.
"We knew it was the right thing to do," Levinson said. "Since we're comfortable saying it, we should make other people comfortable saying it."
The excerpt from "Monologues" was among various readings at an event sponsored by the literary magazine at John Jay High School in Cross River, a New York City suburb. The girls took turns reading the excerpt until they came to the word, which they said together.
"My short skirt is a liberation flag in the women's army," the excerpt went. "I declare these streets, any streets, my vagina's country."
The suspensions were imposed by Principal Richard Leprine, who said the students were punished not because of what they said but because they disobeyed orders not to say it. He said that because the event was open to the community, including children, the word "vagina" was not appropriate.
The superintendent, Robert Lichtenfeld, postponed the suspensions before they took effect, then met with the girls Monday and removed the punishment, Katzin said.
"He said they were going to look at this further, were going to come up with an overall plan for the future as far as censorship is concerned," she said. "He said something to the effect that he wishes it hadn't happened this way."
The controversy made news around the world and landed the girls, Ensler and Breslin on the "Today" show last week.
On Tuesday, the New York Civil Liberties Union issued a statement in support of the teens.
NYCLU Executive Director Donna Lieberman said it was "shocking that school administrators would object to the public performance of a renowned literary work" because it contained the word "vagina."
"Schools should be encouraging students to express themselves freely, not silencing dialogue," she said.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/13/entertainment/e144850D80.DTL

Monday, March 12, 2007

ain't it strange?

Op-Ed Contributor

Ain’t It Strange?
By PATTI SMITH

ON a cold morning in 1955, walking to Sunday school, I was drawn to the voice of Little Richard wailing “Tutti Frutti” from the interior of a local boy’s makeshift clubhouse. So powerful was the connection that I let go of my mother’s hand.
Rock ’n’ roll. It drew me from my path to a sea of possibilities. It sheltered and shattered me, from the end of childhood through a painful adolescence. I had my first altercation with my father when the Rolling Stones made their debut on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” Rock ’n’ roll was mine to defend. It strengthened my hand and gave me a sense of tribe as I boarded a bus from South Jersey to freedom in 1967.
Rock ’n’ roll, at that time, was a fusion of intimacies. Repression bloomed into rapture like raging weeds shooting through cracks in the cement. Our music provided a sense of communal activism. Our artists provoked our ascension into awareness as we ran amok in a frenzied state of grace.
My late husband, Fred Sonic Smith, then of Detroit’s MC5, was a part of the brotherhood instrumental in forging a revolution: seeking to save the world with love and the electric guitar. He created aural autonomy yet did not have the constitution to survive all the complexities of existence.
Before he died, in the winter of 1994, he counseled me to continue working. He believed that one day I would be recognized for my efforts and though I protested, he quietly asked me to accept what was bestowed — gracefully — in his name.
Today I will join R.E.M., the Ronettes, Van Halen and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. On the eve of this event I asked myself many questions. Should an artist working within the revolutionary landscape of rock accept laurels from an institution? Should laurels be offered? Am I a worthy recipient?
I have wrestled with these questions and my conscience leads me back to Fred and those like him — the maverick souls who may never be afforded such honors. Thus in his name I will accept with gratitude. Fred Sonic Smith was of the people, and I am none but him: one who has loved rock ’n’ roll and crawled from the ranks to the stage, to salute history and plant seeds for the erratic magic landscape of the new guard.
Because its members will be the guardians of our cultural voice. The Internet is their CBGB. Their territory is global. They will dictate how they want to create and disseminate their work. They will, in time, make breathless changes in our political process. They have the technology to unite and create a new party, to be vigilant in their choice of candidates, unfettered by corporate pressure. Their potential power to form and reform is unprecedented.
Human history abounds with idealistic movements that rise, then fall in disarray. The children of light. The journey to the East. The summer of love. The season of grunge. But just as we seem to repeat our follies, we also abide.
Rock ’n’ roll drew me from my mother’s hand and led me to experience. In the end it was my neighbors who put everything in perspective. An approving nod from the old Italian woman who sells me pasta. A high five from the postman. An embrace from the notary and his wife. And a shout from the sanitation man driving down my street: “Hey, Patti, Hall of Fame. One for us.”
I just smiled, and I noticed I was proud. One for the neighborhood. My parents. My band. One for Fred. And anybody else who wants to come along.

Patti Smith is a poet and performer.

Friday, March 09, 2007

i must not think bad thoughts

the facts we hate well never meet walking down the road everybody yelling "hurry up, hurry up!" but im waiting for you i must go slow i must not think bad thoughts when is this world coming too both sides are right but both sides murdered i give up why cant they i must not think bad thoughts the civil wars and the uncivilized wars conflagrations leap out of every poor furnace the food cooks poorly and everyone goes hungry from then on its dog eat dog dog eat body & body eat dog i cant go down there i cant understand it im a no good coward & an american too a north american that is not a south of a central or a native american oh i must not think bad thoughts im guilty of murder of innocent men innocent women innocent children thousands of them my planes my guns my money my soul my blood on my hands its all my fault i must not think bad thoughts i must not think bad thoughtsthe facts we hate youll never hear us i hear the radio its finally gonna play new music you know the british invasion but what about the minutemen fleasheaters doa big boys and the black flag were the last american bands to get played on the radio please bring the flag? please bring the flag! glitter-disco-synthesizer night school all the noble savage drum drum drum astronauts go back in time to hang out with the cave people its about time its about space its about some people in the strangest places woody guthrie sang about b-e-e-t-s not b-e-a-t-s i must not think bad thoughts i must not think bad thoughts the facts we ha

Thursday, March 08, 2007

daylight saving (mnemonics)

11 Things: Daylight Saving (Mnemonics)

Tim Sullivan

Thursday, March 8, 2007

1. Don't: "We don't know where we are, or who we are./ We don't know one another; don't know You;/ Don't know what time it is./ We don't know, don't we?" -- Robert Frost (knows we don't know).

2. Forget: "Take your time/ Try not to forget/ We never will/ We're just a minor threat." -- (Don't forget) Minor Threat's "Minor Threat."

3. To: "To dream the impossible dream/ to fight the unbeatable foe/ To bear with unbearable sorrow/ To run where the brave dare not go." -- (To get) "The Impossible Dream" in this impossible column.

4. Spring: "Sell the kids for food/ weather changes moods/ Spring is here again/ reproductive glands." -- Nirvana's "In Bloom" ("Nevermind").

5. Your: "Hidin' from your brothers/ underneath the covers/ come on hide your lovers/ underneath the covers." -- Arcade Fire's "Rebellion (Lies)" ("Funeral").

6. Clocks: "Clocks go slow in a place of work/ Minutes drag and the hours jerk." -- The Clash's "The Magnificent Seven" ("Sandinista").

7. Forward: "By putting forward the hands of the clock you shall not advance the hour." -- Victor Hugo (is a paradox).

8. One: "One way, or another, I'm gonna lose ya;/ I'm gonna give you the slip!" -- Blondie's "One Way or Another" ("Parallel Lines").

9. Hour: "Though nothing can bring back the hour/ Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower." -- William Wordsworth ("Splendour in the Grass").

10. This: "Home -- is where I want to be/ But I guess I'm already there/ I come home -- she lifted up her wings/ Guess that this must be the place." -- Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)" ("Speaking in Tongues").

11. Sunday: "There's no other ending/ Sunday sun/ Yesterday is ending/ Sunday sun." -- Beck's "Sunday Sun" ("Sea Change").

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/08/NSG4JODK9N1.DTL

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina!!!!!

Girls Suspended Over 'Vagina Monologues'
By JIM FITZGERALD, Associated Press Writer
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
(03-06) 14:12 PST CROSS RIVER, New York (AP) --
A public high school has suspended three students who disobeyed officials by saying the word "vagina" during a reading from a well-known feminist play.
The honor students, Megan Reback, Elan Stahl and Hannah Levinson, included the word during their reading of "The Vagina Monologues" because, "It wasn't crude and it wasn't inappropriate and it was very real and very pure," Reback said.
Their defiant stand is being applauded by the play's author, who said Tuesday that the school should be celebrating, rather than punishing, the three juniors.
"Don't we want our children to resist authority when it's not appropriate and wise?" said Eve Ensler, author of "The Vagina Monologues."
The excerpt from "Monologues" was read Friday night, among various readings at an event sponsored by the literary magazine at John Jay High School in Cross River, a New York City suburb. Among the other readings was a student's original work and the football coach quoting Shakespeare.
The girls took turns reading the excerpt until they came to the word, then said it together.
"My short skirt is a liberation flag in the women's army," they read. "I declare these streets, any streets, my vagina's country."
The play, presented as various women's thoughts about sexual subjects, has become a phenomenon since Ensler first performed it off-Broadway where it had a lengthy run. All-star readings are common, and on "V-Day" each year — usually Feb. 14_ it is often performed by volunteers and college students to battle violence against women.
The suspension outraged some parents, who circulated an e-mail calling the punishment a "blatant attempt at censorship."
But Principal Richard Leprine said Tuesday that the girls were punished because they disobeyed orders, not because of what they said.
The event was open to the community, including children, and the word was not appropriate, Leprine said in a statement. He said the girls had been told when they auditioned that they could not use the word.
Reback said Tuesday that no one in the audience was younger than high school age. "What did we do that was so wrong?" she asked. "We were insubordinate, but the reason we were insubordinate was that we talked about our body."
The school "recognizes and respects student freedom of expression," Leprine said. "That right, however, is not unfettered."
"When a student is told by faculty members not to present specified material because of the composition of the audience and they agree to do so, it is expected that the commitment will be honored and the directive will be followed," he said. "When a student chooses not to follow the directive, consequences follow."
Bob Lichtenfeld, superintendent of the Katonah-Lewisboro school district, which includes John Jay, said that had the teens, who are in their third year of high school, wanted to perform the play, they would probably not have met opposition.
"As long as the intended audience knows what to expect, we don't have a problem with it."
Ensler said the girls were right for "standing up for art and against censorship."
"The school's position is absurd, a throwback to the Dark Ages," she said. "So what, if children were to hear the word? Would that be terrible? We're not talking about plutonium here, or acid rain, a word that destroys lives. It's a body part!"
She said she called the girls to support them because "the school put them in an impossible position."
The girls said they had the support of their parents. "To me, they were reciting literature in an educational forum and they did it with grace and dignity," said Dana Stahl, Elan Stahl's mother.
The girls will all serve one-day, in-school suspensions, beginning Wednesday.
"Monologue" performances occasionally provoke controversy.
Conservative Catholics criticized the University of Notre Dame's decision to allow a performance on campus last April. This year, student planners could not get an academic sponsor. And in 2005, the Ugandan government banned a benefit performance of the play to raise money for war-affected African women.
___
On the Net:
Katonah-Lewisboro school district:
V-Day site:
www.klschools.org
www.vday.org
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/06/entertainment/e134236S28.DTL

Monday, March 05, 2007

personal personnel

Journalist Fired for Cemetery Urination
Monday, March 5, 2007

(03-05) 15:26 PST Des Moines, Iowa (AP) --
A television photographer who was fired for urinating in a cemetery while covering the funeral of an Iowa soldier was denied unemployment benefits. Gerry Edwards, of Center Point, was dismissed in December by KGAN-TV in Cedar Rapids.
In November, Edwards urinated near a monument at a cemetery while he was there covering the funeral procession for 23-year-old Sgt. James Musack, of Riverside, who was killed in Iraq, court records said.
Another journalist photographed the incident, and it was e-mailed to Edwards' managers. Records said officials escorted Edwards out of the building within hours and gave him a choice of resigning or being fired.
The administrative law judge who heard Edwards' appeal for unemployment benefits said the act of urinating at the cemetery was disrespectful, unprofessional and offensive.
Edwards testified at a recent hearing that he was unable to leave the cemetery to urinate for fear of missing the funeral procession.
"I was leaned on to get that shot," Edwards testified.
KGAN Station Manager Mike Sullivan declined to comment, saying it was a personnel matter.
___

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/05/national/a140319S94.DTL

Thursday, March 01, 2007

chinese rock

11 Things: Chinese Rock

Thursday, March 1, 2007

1. China Cat Sunflower: Grateful Dead's "Aoxomoxoa" (1969): "Look for a while/ at the China Cat Sunflower/ proud-walking jingle/ in the midnight sun." Add "I Know You Rider," bake lightly and dance.

2. China My China: Brian Eno's "Taking Tiger Mountain (by Strategy)" (1974): "In the haze of the morning, China sits on Eternity/ And the opium farmers sell dreams to obscure fraternities." Eno discovers postcards of a Maoist opera in San Francisco.

3. Kung-Fu Fighting: Carl Douglas (1974): "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting/ those kids were fast as lightning ..." In fact, the Soul Train video was a little bit fright'ning: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rp8FR7p_Is.

4. Chinese Rocks: Dee Dee Ramone, Richard Hell (1976): "I'm living on Chinese rocks/ all my best things are in hock." Ramone wrote it, then the Heartbreakers played it, then Johnny Thunders took credit for it....

5. China Girl: Iggy Pop's "The Idiot" (1977), David Bowie's "Let's Dance" (1983): "I'll give you television/ I'll give you eyes of blue/ I'll give you men who want to rule the world." Iggy + Bowie = odd.

6. Chinese Radiation: Pere Ubu's "The Modern Dance" (1978): "He'll be the red guard/ She'll be the new world." Agreeable dissonance.

7. I Like Chinese: Monty Python's "Contractual Obligation Album" (1980): "I like their tiny little trees/ Their zen, their ping-pong/ their yin and yang-eze." Yang-eze?

8. Chinese Takeaway: The Adicts' "Sound of Music" (1982): "Hey, hey I want a Chinese takeaway/ Hey, hey, woo woo woo ..." Best song on this list.

9. Chinese Fire Drill: Mike Watt's "Ball-Hog or Tugboat" (1995): "Another day breaks, maybe I will too ..." Co-written with Joe Carducci.

10. Chinese Bombs: Blur's "Blur" (1997): "Bruce Lee come, save the day." Hurry, Bruce!

11. Ancient Chinese Secret Blues: Clem Snide's "The Ghost of Fashion" (2001): "How could you say that?/ You just opened your mouth/ now I haven't the courage to stay ..." Calgon, take me away.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/01/NSG8CO8RAC1.DTL