Thursday, February 28, 2008

leap year

11 Things: Leap year

Thursday, February 28, 2008

1. Fact: One year is actually 365.2421896698 days.
Fiction: 96 hours is actually 96.0636988 hours.

2. Fact: Bissextile is the official name of the leap year.
Fiction: 2008 has a sexual orientation.

3. Fact: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberdorft Sr. was born on Feb. 29, 1904.
Fiction: He later inspired Edward Gorey's "The Gashlycrumb Tinies."

4. Fact: There is scientific evidence that the Earth's rotation on its axis is slowing down because of global warming.
Fiction: There is scientific evidence that politics never interferes with science.

5. Fact: In 1288, Scotland established Leap Day as a time when a woman could propose marriage to a man.
Fiction: There was no punishment if he refused.

6. Fact: The Leap Year Cocktail was invented at London's Savoy Hotel on Feb. 29, 1928.
Fiction: I'll only be drinking one Friday.

7. Fact: On Feb. 29, 1952, the first "Walk/Don't Walk" signs were installed in New York City.
Fiction: Pedestrians caught on quickly.

8. Fact: On Feb. 29, 1972, the Carpenters received a gold record for the hit single "Hurting Each Other."
Fiction: The song was about the band and its fans.

9. Fact: Feb. 30 was a real date in Sweden and the Soviet Union.
Fiction: Vodka explains most of this.

10. Fact: When you use the "weekday" function in Microsoft Excel 2000 to compute the day of the week for dates before March 1, 1900, the function returns an incorrect result.
Fiction: Microsoft Excel 2000 is otherwise fun.

11. Fact: Anthony, Texas/New Mexico will be holding its Sixth Worldwide Leap Year Festival today through Sunday.
Fiction: There are many other reasons to visit Anthony, Texas/New Mexico.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/28/NSS2V8D1J.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Thursday, February 21, 2008

confucius

11 Things: Confucius

Thursday, February 21, 2008

1. On journalism:

"An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger."

2. On fame:

"I am not bothered by the fact that I am unknown. I am bothered when I do not know others."

3. On America:

"In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of."

4. On Muni:

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

5. On shopping:

"It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get."

6. On the Internet:

"I have never seen one who loves virtue as much as he loves sex."

7. On life:

"If we don't know life, how can we know death?"

8. On war:

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

9. On travel:

"And remember, no matter where you go, there you are."

10. On knowledge:

"To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge."

11. On this column:

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/21/NSOKV3OG8.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

mccain is a jackass

In a scarcely veiled attack on Obama, the Republican nominee-in-waiting said, "I will fight every moment of every day in this campaign to make sure that Americans are not deceived by an eloquent but empty call for change."

Thursday, February 14, 2008

love bites

11 Things: Love Bites

Thursday, February 14, 2008

1. Real world:

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end."
- Anonymous

2. Ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?):

"Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other."
- William Somerset Maugham

3. Operator's manual:

"All You Need Is Cash"
- The Rutles

4. Nostalgia:

"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics.' "
- Frank Zappa

5. Just lust:

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia."
- H.L. Mencken

6. Sixteen again:

"Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away."
- Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye."

7. Walking distance:

"My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there."
- Carrie Fisher

8. Love is lies:

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
- Matt Groening

9. Nothing left:

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen, "Love and Death"

10. E.S.P.:

"If I love you, what business is it of yours?"
- Goethe

11. Late for the train:

"Grief can take care of itself but to get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with."
- Mark Twain


- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/14/NSU3V0BEM.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Thursday, February 07, 2008

neal cassady

11 Things: Neal Cassady

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Neal Cassady was many people to many people. He was Dean Moriarty in Jack Kerouac's "On the Road," the secret hero in Allen Ginsberg's "Howl" and the driver of Ken Kesey's bus. He was also John Allen Cassady's father. Following are 11 Things John wanted to relate about his dad.

1. Contrary to popular myth regarding his reputation, my father did, indeed, have a family, and he strove to be a good husband, father and provider.

2. When the Merry Pranksters went on the famous bus trip to New York, my mother (having no sense of humor) insisted I go to school instead. She rightly asked Neal not to glorify that lifestyle every time he came by.

3. My father's mind was highly evolved, but he never bragged or put others down.

4. They never intended to create the beat generation, hippies or the anti-war movement, but I'm glad for the seeds they planted.

5. No matter how much the Eisenhower and McCarthy eras were oppressive, that period was a day at the beach compared with what's going on now.

6. When Dad and Kesey rescued me and my sister from high school to go see the Grateful Dead, they were in the principal's office in white jump-suits, crazy hats and Day-Glo orange Beatle boots. The principal said, "This man claims to be your father!" We said, "Hey, what's up, Dad?" After some signatures, they let us go (and it was the best Friday ever).

7. These bikers were about to lower the boom on some kid for God knows what, and Dad jumped into the fray, saying, "Here, have some gum!" All the bikers backed off, astonished. "Here, have some gum," he kept saying in the middle of the circle until the situation was defused. Kesey just watched in amazement.

8. I was sitting across from Ginsberg in our home around 1965. He said, "Johnny, do you want to know a secret? The Beatles smoke pot!" I said, "What's pot?" I'll never forget how crestfallen Ginsberg looked when the scoop of the century was lost on me.

9. He named me after Kerouac and Ginsberg, but, at the last minute, he changed "Jack" to "John." Years later, I asked Mom about this. She said, "I asked him about that at the time, and he said, 'Well, if you say it fast, it sounds like JackAssady and no one is going to call my son a jackass all his life!' "

10. Of all the doors my father has opened to me, I would trade them all to have him back.

11. John Allen Cassady and his sister Jami will be attending the Third Annual Neal Cassady Birthday Bash this weekend. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Sat.-Sun. The Beat Museum, 540 Broadway, S.F. (415) 399-9626. www.thebeatmuseum.org.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/07/NS8AURQ3U.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle