sarah palindromes

11 Things: Sarah Palindromes

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A palindrome is a word, verse, sentence or number that reads the same backward as it does forward. "Madam, I'm Adam" is a common example. Sarah Palindromes would thus be palindromes relating to John McCain's running mate. Each reminds how important it is for the country to look forward ... by looking back:

11. Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

Looking back: Look forward.
Looking forward: Look back.
Translation: Progress is a thing of the past.

10. Rise to vote sir

Looking back: Americans can't agree.
Looking forward: Americans agree they can't agree.
Translation: Americans vote.

9. Daedalus: Nine. Peninsula: Dead

Looking back: Palin had plans to visit Woodside today.
Looking forward: Palin postponed those plans.
Translation: Palin is elusive.

8. Ma is as selfless as I am

Looking back: Had to squelch those Daily Kos rumors.
Looking forward: Had to squelch those Daily Kos rumors.
Translation: Abstinence abstained.

7. No, son, onanism's a gross orgasm sin: a no-no, son

Looking back: Politics shouldn't be influenced by religion.
Looking forward: Politics is being influenced by religion.
Translation: Thomas Jefferson is not amused.

6. Meet animals; laminate 'em

Looking back: The moose was doomed.
Looking forward: The polar bears are doomed.
Translation: The animals are doomed.

5. Senile felines

Looking back: Age offsets youth.
Looking forward: Youth offsets age.
Translation: The election just caught its tail.

4. Party booby trap

Looking back: Boy, we're doomed.
Looking forward: Boy, we're doomed.
Translation: Boy, we're doomed.

3. Dammit, I'm mad

Looking back: The country is mad.
Looking forward: The candidates are mad.
Translation: Mad has many meanings.

2. Harass sensuousness, Sarah

Looking back: So many dynamos.
Looking forward: Won't lovers revolt now?
Translation: No idea, but the two themes are palindromes too.

1. Lonely Tylenol

Looking back: Politics gave me a headache.
Looking forward: Politics will give you a headache.
Translation: Read this column twice ... and call me in the morning.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/25/NS5H132J3G.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

poets 11

11 Things: Poets 11

Thursday, September 18, 2008

San Francisco Poet Laureate Jack Hirschman is a column unto himself, but this Sunday's Poets 11 grand finale isn't about him. It's about the city, the people and the poetry. Thirty-three poets selected from 11 districts will read one poem each. Hirschman is the host ... and the poet providing us with 11 reasons to attend:

1. All: "All the districts are involved."
District 1 Poets: Thea Sullivan, Tiffany Tang, Kristen Tracy.
(The Richmond District)

2. All of us: "No cliques, no everybody-look-at-me!"
District 2: Melba Abela, Marty Campbell, Kory O'Rourke.
(The Presidio, Marina, Pacific Heights)

3. All of them: "33 featured poets will read one of their three winning poems."
District 3: David Menendez Alvarez, Philip Hackett, Joe Pulichino.
(Chinatown, North Beach, Russian Hill, Nob Hill, Fisherman's Wharf)

4. All of the above: "They're all solid or sensitive or heartfelt or intelligent or passionate or all of the above adjectives together."
District 4: Mary Dalton, Jennifer Futernick, Jose Luis Gutierrez.
(Sunset/Parkside)

5. All walks of life: "They're workers, retired workers, teachers, students of every orbit of this spinning life."
District 5: Lynne Barnes, Jennifer Chien, Tessa Fontaine, Larry Kaplan.
(Haight-Ashbury, Western Addition, parts of Hayes Valley, the Inner Sunset)

6. All-inclusive: "There'll be different languages, including Native American Ojibway."
District 6: Lourdes Figueroa, Elizabeth A. Larson, Lisa Turner.
(SoMa, Tenderloin, the islands)

7. All in the family: "It's about time you thought: my brother's a poet, my sister's a poet ... and came to hear your family read."
District 7: Al Averbach, Soheyl Dahi, Amy O'Hair.
(West of Twin Peaks)

8. All in all: "There's no higher sense of community participation than reading to create a unified field from a vast range of different poems."
District 8: Susan Dambroff, Stanley Keisel, Alice Templeton.
(The Castro, Noe Valley, Glen Park)

9. All in fact: "That brother and sister who are poets are also what you are, what all in fact are - poets."
District 9: Carlos Disdier, Marvin R. Hiemstra, Tehmina Khan.
(The Mission, Bernal Heights)

10. All for one and one for all: "Let's listen to the heart of revolutionary spirit everywhere."
District 10: Ellen Frank, Priscilla Lee.
(Potrero Hill, Bayview-Hunters Point)

11. All are invited: "It's poetry, it's free, c'mon to Koret Auditorium."
District 11: Andre Baca, Aja Couchois Duncan, Victoria Ehrlich.
(Excelsior, Ingleside, Crocker-Amazon)

The grand finale of Poets 11 takes place from 1-3 p.m. Sun. Koret Auditorium, Main Library, 100 Larkin St. www.sfpl.org.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/18/NSB312UALV.DTL

bizarro

11 Things: Bizarro

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Dan Piraro's arrival in town completes a Bizarro summer trifecta that involved too much partying with Charo and too many reminders of Ferraro. So I contacted him. After some curious back and forth, I began to realize that the strangest part of Dan Piraro isn't that he's strange, but that he isn't. Like most of us, he loves:

1. Getting up too early: to be at the airport too early to stand in line at security and convince people in uniforms that he's not dangerous.

2. Flying across the country: for a comedy show while wishing someone would put that screaming toddler in an overhead compartment.

3. Watching his luggage: revolve around a crowded room while swearing he'll never do another show again.

4. Wishing obsessively: that he wasn't so obsessive.

5. Thinking: Angelina Jolie isn't nearly good looking enough to put up with living with all those children for.

6. Boring a fellow bar-stooled stranger: with his inner apprehensions about his pathetic need to make a roomful of strangers like him because he's funny.

7. Making sure: the gun in his pocket is fully loaded in case the roomful of strangers doesn't think he's funny.

8. Double-checking: his suicide notes for grammatical and punctuation errors and the proper mix of pathos and humor.

9. Praying: the seats fill up and the scotch doesn't wear off.

10. Listening: to applause and feeling supremely rewarded for all the effort, inconvenience and childhood trauma that led to his demented image of the world.

11. Beginning: to think of his next comedy show.

"Two Funny Heads" with Dan Piraro and special guest Brian Malow. 8 and 10 tonight. $20 (21 and older). Proceeds benefit the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. The Purple Onion, 140 Columbus Ave., San Francisco. (415) 956-1653. www.bizarro.com.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/11/NS7B12P184.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

addictions

11 Things: Addictions

Thursday, September 4, 2008

1. Sex:

Pros: Pleasure, babies.
Cons: Babies, displeasure.
Highs: Yes, yes!
Lows: A lack thereof.

Follows: 5 not 2.


2. Drugs:

Pros: Ridiculous insight.
Cons: Ridiculous behavior.
Highs: Yes, yes!
Lows: Illness, prison, death.

Follows: 3 not 7.


3. Rock 'n' roll:

Pros: Bad reputation.
Cons: Bad reputation.
Highs: Annihilation.
Lows: Annihilation.

Follows: 2 not 8.

4. Politics:

Pros: We've been inspired.
Cons: We've been duped.
Highs: Utopia.
Lows: Dystopia.

Follows: 10 not 1.

5. Love:

Pros: Insane happiness.
Cons: Unhappy insanity.
Highs: Delirium.
Lows: Delirium.

Follows: 1 not 10.

6. Television:

Pros: Escape.
Cons: Escape.
Highs: News.
Lows: News.

Follows: 4 not 9.

7. Work:

Pros: Provides insurance.
Cons: Makes you sick.
Highs: Collaboration.
Lows: Termination.

Follows: 11 not 5.

8. Religion:

Pros: Meaning.
Cons: Delusion.
Highs: Heaven.
Lows: Hell.

Follows: Itself not 4.

9. Exercise:

Pros: Health.
Cons: Effort.
Highs: Yes!
Lows: Yes!

Follows: 7 not 6.

10. Internet:

Pros: World at fingertips.
Cons: Pain at fingertips.
Highs: Communicate with world.
Lows: World communicates with you.

Follows: 6 not 11.

11. Sleep:

Pros: Crazy dreams.
Cons: Crazy laziness.
Highs: Sundays.
Lows: Mondays.

Follows: 9 not 3.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/04/NSLK12KEK2.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

two wrongs don't make a right

they make a right wing ticket!