Thursday, April 27, 2006

missing the '90s

11 THINGS: MISSING THE ’90S

Thursday, April 27, 2006

1. TV: "Seinfeld" (and Kramer and George and Elaine ... and Newwwwwman!!!), "The X-Files" (and Scully!!!!!), "Ren & Stimpy" ("Happy, happy, joy, joy" and "don't touch the red button"), "Baywatch," "Beverly Hills, 90210," "Melrose Place" and O.J. on trial (hey, wait a second ... we don't miss those last four).

2. Film: "Rushmore," "The Shawshank Redemption," "The Usual Suspects," "Being John Malkovich," "Fargo," "L.A. Confidential," "Pulp Fiction," "Goodfellas," "The Game," "Groundhog Day" and "Freeway."

3. Music: Beck (pre-"Mutations"), Nirvana (pre-"In Utero"), Green Day (pre-"Insomniac"), Jawbreaker (pre-"Dear You"), J-Church (pre-leaving S.F.), MC 900 Ft. Jesus (pre-disappearing altogether).

4. Nightclubs: The I-Beam (now housing), the Kennel Club (now the Independent), Brave New World (now the 1751 Social Club), CW Saloon (now Annie's Social Club), the Chameleon (now Amnesia).

5. Web sites: Excite.com, the next Yahoo? ... OK, maybe not ... and um, has anyone figured out where Webvan drove off to? Ah yes, that's right; a steady convoy, straight off a nearby pier ...

6. Flannel shirts: Now occupying several racks at a thrift store near you.

7. Government surpluses: A balanced budget, a booming economy, low gas prices, a Democrat in the White House ... a bridge to the future? Seems like a fairy tale nowadays.

8. Common sense: Truth has been replaced by "truthiness," science by religion, hope by fear, peace and rationality by war and fanaticism.

9. A genuine health care debate: Will the insurance companies let me list this? Probably not, which is precisely why I'm listing it.

10. The Giants at Candlestick: A young Barry Bonds (with knees that work), a Weeble Wobble Tommy Lasorda (with a sense of humor that works) and baseball parks (with names that work).

11. Looking forward to the year 2000: Nowadays, we're just waiting for 2008.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/27/NSG6OIFL541.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Thursday, April 20, 2006

earth day

11 THINGS: EARTH DAY

Thursday, April 20, 2006

1. Plant a tree: Attend the Friends of the Urban Forest Earth Day Bayview/DPW tree planting from 9 a.m.-noon Saturday. Visit www.fuf.net or call Maria at (415) 561-6890, Ext. 110 for details.

2. Go vegan: Learn more via the S.F. Vegetarian Society at www.sfvs.org. At the very least, consider permanently boycotting the fast-food industry after reading Eric Schlosser's "Fast Food Nation."

3. Don't shop for a day: Better yet, visit John Perry's anti-consumerism group "The Compact" that only shops from thrift stores, Craigslist and freecycle.org, etc. sfcompact.blogspot.com or groups.yahoo.com/group/thecompact.

4. Clean up your street: Step 1: Pick up trash. Step 2: Throw it in trash can. Do it yourself or volunteer with the city at www.sfcleancity.com.

5. Get out of your car: Take BART or Muni, bike or skateboard, walk or run, dressed or nude ... just get out of your car already! At the very least, give the finger to a Hummer driver or embrace car sharing at www.citycarshare.org or www.zipcar.com.

6. See the Walmart movie: Become horrified ... never shop at Walmart again ... visit www.walmartmovie.com to learn more.

7. Recycle, recycle, recycle: Tokyo has two garbage islands already. S.F. Bay doesn't need its own. Paper or plastic? Tell 'em neither and put your goods in your own bag. www.sfenvironment.com.

8. Reading this list online?: Computers can be recycled too. Visit the Silicon Valley Toxics Coalition at www.svtc.org.

9. Control the population Prevent unwanted pregnancy. Learn more about birth control at www.plannedparenthood.com. Learn more about sex at www.sfsi.org. Not willing to do either? Consider sterilization.

10. Regift: To relatives you really don't like. (Regifting with others is bad karma.) Learn more at www.regift.net (but don't tell them I sent you).

11. Go to the supermarket and free the lobsters: A good friend suggested this one ... I still have no idea what the hell he means.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/20/NSG8II8SQ71.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Thursday, April 13, 2006

tax evaders

11 THINGS: TAX EVADERS

Thursday, April 13, 2006

1. Martha Stewart: Claim to fame? "Domestic Diva." Lovable before? Yes, by cooks, gardeners and polite people. Lovable after? Yes, by late night TV hosts.

2. Willie Nelson: Claim to fame? "Always on My Mind" and Farm Aid. Lovable before? Hell, yes! Lovable after? Even more so.

3. Leona Helmsley: Claim to fame? "Queen of Mean." Lovable before? Hell no! Lovable after? Hahahahaha....

4. Richard Pryor: Claim to fame? Comedy (so funny that he set himself on fire while freebasing cocaine in 1980), also made four films with Gene Wilder. Lovable before? Sure thing. Lovable after? Comedy and tragedy go hand in hand, don't they?

5. Chuck Berry: Claim to fame? Rock & roll pioneer, hit songs include "Roll Over Beethoven," "Johnny B. Goode," "School Days," many more. Lovable before? Rock star status = resounding yes. Lovable after? Too influential not to be.

6. Darryl Strawberry: Claim to fame? Baseball star (with the Mets, Dodgers, Giants and Yankees). Lovable before? Primarily by Mets and Yankees fans. Lovable after? Not by ex-wives.

7. Sophia Loren: Claim to fame? Film star to end all film stars. Lovable before? Refined grace = but, of course. Lovable after? Impossible not to.

8. Spiro Agnew: Claim to fame? Dick Nixon's vice president and Vietnam War hatchet man (1969-73). Lovable before? Not a chance. Lovable after? Was Leona Helmsley lovable after?

9. Al Capone: Claim to fame? Gangster to end all gangsters. Lovable before? If you didn't love him, he'd have you killed. Lovable after? Please reread answer to "lovable before" question and then reread it again.

10. Don King: Claim to fame? Boxing promoter/eccentric/exploding hair. Lovable before? Caricatures are always lovable. Lovable after? Caricatures are still lovable.

11. Heidi Fleiss: Claim to fame? We can't be certain, but we think it has something to do with Charlie Sheen. Lovable before? Not really. Lovable after? Kinda. Strangely. Yes.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/13/NSGQ3I4PF21.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Thursday, April 06, 2006

baseball blogs

11 Things: Inside Baseball/Blogs

Thursday, April 6, 2006

1. San Francisco Giants: The Splash, on www.sfgate.com, and www.onlybaseballmatters.com. The good: Barry Bonds. The bad: Barry Bonds. The ugly: Barry Bonds.

2. Oakland A's: The Drumbeat on www.sfgate.com and www.athleticsnation.com. The good: Youth Brigade! The bad: Milton Bradley's temper. The ugly: attendance.

3. Los Angeles Dodgers: www.dodgerblues.com and www.6-4-2.blogspot.com (Dodgers/Angels blog). The good: They got rid of Jeff Weaver. The bad: press conferences with Grady Little. The ugly: Nomar's already injured.

4. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: www.halosheaven.com and www.mattwelch.com/warblog.html. The good: Vlad, the Impaler. The bad: the Lost Angels Angels of Anaheim? Sounds about right. The ugly: Disneyland.

5. Boston Red Sox: www.bostondirtdogs.com and www.sonsofsamhorn.com. The good: Coco Crisp. The bad: Beckett's blisters. The ugly: Tavarez.

6. New York Yankees: www.ingeorgewetrust.blogspot.com and www.waswatching.com. The good: money, money, money. The bad: the Curse of Pay-Rod. The ugly: Johnny Damon sold his soul to Satan.

7. New York Mets: www.metsblog.com and www.metsville.com. The good: Carlos (Beltran and Delgado). The bad: Pedro's toe. The ugly: Pedro's hair.

8. Chicago Cubs: www.viewfromthebleachers.com and www.bleedcubbieblue.com. The good: opening day beatdown on the Reds. The bad: Bartman. The ugly: billy goats.

9. Chicago White Sox: www.southsidesox.com and www.soxmachine.com. The good: Ozzie Guillen. The bad: A.J. Pierzynski. The ugly: They're scary good.

10. San Diego Padres: www.sdpf.blogspot.com and www.gaslampball.com. The good: Peavy! The bad: Piazza? The ugly: those godforsaken military camouflage uniforms.

11. Seattle Mariners: www.niceguysfinishthird.com and www.marinerds.blogspot.com. The good: Ichiro Suzuki and Kenji Johjima. The bad: that entire pitching staff. The ugly: Guardado meltdowns.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/06/NSG3AI0Q3K1.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle