re: remakes

11 THINGS: Re: Remakes

Thursday, May 31, 2007

1. "The A-Team" (2008): Original TV Series: 1983-1987. Initial reaction: "I pity the fool." Follow-up reaction: What does Mr. T think about all of this? Come to think of it: What does the Mr. T Experience think?

2. "The Birds" (2009): Original: 1963. Initial reaction: No! Follow-up reaction: Nooooo!!! Come to think of it: Naomi Watts as Tippi Hedren actually makes sense.

3. "CHiPs" (2009): Original TV Series: 1977-1983. Initial reaction: Wilson Valderrama is the perfect Ponch. Follow-up reaction: But who is the perfect Jon? Come to think of it: Why am I scrolling through www.robertpine.com right now?

4. "Deathrace 3000" (2008): Original ("Deathrace 2000"): 1975. Initial reaction: Don't say anything ... Follow-up reaction:

... about Iraq. Come to think of it: Don't say that either.

5. "Escape from New York" (2009): Original: 1981. ("Escape from Los Angeles": 1996.) Initial reaction: Why not add the U.S. and call it "Escape from America?" Follow-up reaction: Oh right ... San Francisco already exists. Come to think of it: I'd really like to escape from Hollywood.

6. "Fahrenheit 451" (2008): Original: 1966. Initial reaction: Didn't a used bookstore owner in Missouri recently burn books to protest the decline of the printed word? Follow-up reaction: Didn't most of us learn about this story via the Internet? Come to think of it: Isn't the bookstore owner missing the point?

7. "The Fly" (2008): Original: 1958. (Remake: 1986.) Initial reaction: The remake was an exception to the remake rule. Follow-up reaction: The remake rule is that remakes tend to suck. Come to think of it: This rule isn't good news for remakes of remakes.

8. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (2007): Original: 1956. (Remake: 1978.) Initial reaction: See reactions to "The Fly." Follow-up reaction: Nicole Kidman??? Come to think of it: All of my human emotions have just disappeared.

9. "1984" (2009): Original: 1956. (Remake: 1984.) Initial reaction: "War is Peace." Follow-up reaction: "Freedom is Slavery." Come to think of it: "Ignorance is Strength."

10. "Sunset Boulevard" (2008): Original: 1950. Initial reaction: Disbelief. Follow-up reaction: Mock laughter. Come to think of it: Has Glenn Close purposefully been fading into obscurity to secure a starring role in the film?

11. "The Warriors" (2008): Original: 1979. Initial reaction: Wrong! Follow-up reaction: Cyrus is dead already. Come to think of it: My initial reactions haven't been strong enough.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/31/NSGMIQ1SIE1.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle