painting by numbers

11 THINGS: Painting by Numbers

Thursday, May 24, 2007

1. One:

The Good: "One (Is the Loneliest Number)" by Harry Nilsson.
The Bad: Jet Li's "The One."
The Ugly: The city smelling like number one on a hot summer day.

2. Two:

The Good: Meat Loaf's "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad."
The Bad: 2 Live Crew.
The Ugly: Certain scenes in "Jackass Number Two."

3. Three:

The Good: "Three Is a Magic Number" ("Schoolhouse Rock" version).
The Bad: Threesomes (or was that good?)
The Ugly: Lionel Richie's "Three Times a Lady" (or Buckwheat's "Fee Times a Mady").

4. Four:

The Good: Gang of Four.
The Bad: Foreigner 4.
The Ugly: The decline of the fourth estate.

5. Five:

The Good: Dave Brubeck's "Take Five."
The Bad: Maroon 5.
The Ugly: The smell of I-5 halfway between here and Los Angeles.

6. Six:

The Good: "And if the devil is six ...
The Bad: 666.
The Ugly: Sexdactyly.

7. Seven:

The Good: ... then God is seven, then God is seven, then God is seven."
The Bad: Food at 7-11.
The Ugly: The final scene in "Se7en."

8. Eight:

The Good: Blossom Dearie singing "Figure Eight."
The Bad: "Eight Is Enough."
The Ugly: Adam Rich, post-"Eight Is Enough."

9. Nine:

The Good: The Beatles' "Revolution 9."
The Bad: The Beatles' "Revolution 9."
The Ugly: The Beatles' "Revolution 9."

10. Ten:

The Good: "I'd Love to Change the World" by Ten Years After.
The Bad: "Tenspeed and Brown Shoe."
The Ugly: Dudley Moore's character in "10."

11. Eleven:

The Good: Nigel Tufnel: "The numbers all go to 11. Look, right across the board, 11, 11, 11 and ..."
The Bad: "Ocean's Eleven."
The Ugly: 9/11.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/24/NSGH6PUQUL1.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle