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A California National Guard detachment tossed its duffle bags into a truck Thursday and said goodbye to the city of Concord.

Concord, much of it with tears its eyes, said come home in one piece.

"This thing is so crazy,'' said Christy Arellano. "Over there, you never know who's going to do what.''

Over there means Iraq, not an easy word to say for the families of departing soldiers. Arellano held her 16-month-old daughter in one arm and hugged her Iraq-bound husband, Carlos, with the other.

"Daddy's going to Iraq,'' Lt. Carlos Arellano, 29, told his daughter, Ayiana. "You don't get to go. Just Daddy.''

The three of them hugged. Eyes were dabbed all around.

Arellano and two dozen fellow members of Detachment 1 chowed down on chocolate chip cookies baked by the lieutenant's wife and stood at parade rest inside the Guard armory on Willow Pass Road while the mayor of Concord made a farewell speech. The citizen soldiers tried to stay upbeat about how the National Guard these days seems to be doing most of its guarding in Iraq instead of the homeland.

"I guess this is not what I had in mind,'' said Pvt. Brian Cole, 24, of San Lorenzo, a former high school wrestler. He said he had enlisted in the Guard "because it seemed cool and I thought I'd check it out.''

Cole, trying to sound as if he had a choice, said he was glad to go where they send him. He said combat stress is all mental and he plans to tune it out. He also said he hasn't been in combat before. He plans to come home next year, after the detachment serves what is supposed to be a 12-month hitch in Iraq.

"Hopefully,'' he said.

The thing is, he said, he's got this girlfriend.

"I'm trying to get a relationship going,'' he said. "A year is a long time. Who knows? I don't know what I'm going to do to get it off my mind. Lift weights, probably.''

Soldiers in harm's way always seem to have girlfriends, mothers, spouses or children. All of them have the same looks on their faces when the troops toss the duffle bags into the truck.

Lt. James Jones, 33, of Tracy, shared some fast-food burgers with his wife, Tiah, and 7-year-old son, JJ. It was his fourth combat tour since 1989 and the family had gone through goodbyes before. Jones, a black beret perched jauntily over his brow, squirted seven catsup packets on his burger. Lieutenants get to do whatever they want.

"I can't promise my men that they'll all come back,'' he said. "All I can guarantee them is good leadership.''

JJ ate his burger quietly. In his other hand was a toy soldier. He seemed to know it was going to be his last burger with his father for a while.

Before leaving, the detachment presented a California state flag to the mayor. The soldiers, attached to the 1st Battalion 143rd Field Artillery, had carried the flag during their last combat tour, in Afghanistan in 2005.

"You gentlemen make us proud to live in Concord,'' Mayor Mark Peterson said. "Come home to us.''

For some detachment members, who have been doing mostly weekend warrior service, it will be their first combat tour. For others, it will be more of what they saw in Afghanistan.

The men will do a month of training in Camp Roberts, north of San Luis Obispo, and then leave for Iraq. They will patrol highways, protect convoys and try to keep their helmeted heads down.

David Lopes, 20, of Danville, said he plans to attend UC Berkeley and become a lawyer when he gets back. He also said he had joined the National Guard last year to protect his fellow citizens in the event of a natural disaster. If Iraq is a disaster, it's a different kind.

"When you sign the military contract these days, you pretty much know you could go to Iraq,'' Lopes said. "Either that, or you're oblivious to the world.

"So it's always in the back of your mind. You just don't talk about it much. It's not for a soldier to say what he's going to do. You don't get to choose.''

E-mail Steve Rubenstein at srubenstein@sfchronicle.com.

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