tax procrastination

11 Things: Tax Procrastination

Thursday, April 12, 2007

1. Call your mom: Good for 30-45 minutes of procrastination time (depending on your mom).

2. Download some music: "Someday I Suppose" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones might be appropriate. Good for 10-15 minutes of procrastination time (depending on your connection speed).

3. Blog about why you're avoiding taxes: Be sure to add photos of yourself (and some deep deep thoughts about post-post-modernism). Good for at least an hour of procrastination time (depending on how deep your deep deep thoughts are).

4. Go to Snubster: Sign up and add the IRS to the top of your "dead to me" list. Good for another hour of procrastination time (depending on how many others you add to your list). www.snubster.com.

5. Drink: Good for a full night of procrastination, with additional bonus morning (depending on beverage consumed and the current state of your aspirin inventory).

6. Stare at dishes in kitchen sink: Good for expanding the horizons of, testing the limits of and maximizing the full potential of your procrastination time.

7. Stare at cat: Good for one strange vibe.* (*More than one if you listen to the Beatles' "Revolver" while staring.)

8. Stare out window: Good for 1-45 minutes of procrastination time (depending on (a) your place of residence (b) how pensive your stare is and (c) the legality of what's going on outside at the time).

9. Research penalties for avoiding taxes: Delve deeper. Search for loopholes. Call your uncle (with the offshore bank account). Ponder fleeing country (yet again). Good for enhancing your really nice daydreams.

10. Work on newspaper column about tax procrastination: Write it, read it, become disgusted by it, crumple it up, throw it away ... lather, rinse, repeat. (Good for one long neurotic weekend of procrastination.)

11. Read the newspaper: Hey! So far, so good -- you've come to the right place. Reward yourself by returning to No. 3 and linking this column. Good for continuous ongoing procrastination.* (*Additional bonus time added when you discover how your taxes are being spent, become outraged ... and need to call your mom again.)

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/04/12/NSGCLP4ESI1.DTL