where to hide your eggs

11 Things: Where to Hide Your Eggs

Thursday, April 5, 2007

1. Near an affordable home in the Bay Area: just down the road from the impossible reality (behind the beautiful, well-sculpted oxymoron).

2. Behind a beautiful row of trees at the Hidden Villa in Los Altos Hills: or behind a beautiful row of wine bottles at the Hidden Vine in San Francisco (or perhaps inside the beautiful "Egg" on the Academy of Art campus).

3. Somewhere inside the tiny two-person elevator: that goes up the side of one of Sutro Tower's (not-so-sexy) legs.

4. In the Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland: I'm already lost.

5. In a synagogue or temple: "Oy vey!" (And, yes, I probably should be apologizing to someone right about now.)

6. "I Am the Walrus": "Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday. Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long." (Or perhaps inside the "Easter" song inside Patti Smith's "Easter" album ... or the Humpty-Dumpty sitting inside the Beastie Boys' "Eggman" sitting inside "Paul's Boutique.")

7. Along the streetcar tracks on the J-Church line: so that the J-Church actually shows by nightfall.

8. With the WMDs: "Brilliant!"

("I must not think bad thoughts ... I must not think bad thoughts ...")

9. Under the special powder at Good Vibrations: Oh, just you never mind.

10. "Where Eagles Dare": by the Misfits. ("You better think about it, baby!")

11. Atop the north tower of the Golden Gate Bridge: Don't forget your cape, your goggles, your super-industrial-strength windbreaker (and my very strict instructions not to look down).

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/04/05/NSGCNOU5SC1.DTL