impossible vacation

11 THINGS: Impossible Vacation

Thursday, August 3, 2006

1. What to know: Vacation is the term used in English-speaking North America to describe time away from work or school, a trip abroad or a pleasure trip away from home. In the rest of the English-speaking world the word "holiday" is used. Source: Wikipedia.

2. What else to know: The average number of vacation days around the world is as follows: Italy: 42 days.** France: 37 days. Germany: 35 days. Brazil: 34 days. United Kingdom: 28 days. Canada: 26 days. Japan: 25 days. Korea: 25 days. United States: 13 days. Source: World Tourism Organization. www.infoplease.com. **No wonder the Italians won the World Cup.

3. What to do: We suggest a reinvigorating mix of frequent exhaling, relaxing, sleeping and doing pretty much absolutely nothing (aside from petitioning your boss and/or congressperson for more vacation time in the future). Source: Work stress.

4. What to wear: Bathrobe and slippers, especially if you're headed through airport security and are seriously tired of having to remove your shoes. Source: Frustration with airports.

5. What to read: Spalding Gray's "Impossible Vacation." Please allow a year's worth of vacation time to actually finish the book ... unless you're from Italy. Source: Not sure entirely, but I really miss Spalding Gray.

6. What to listen to: The Go-Go's' "Vacation," Todd Rundgren's "Bang the Drum All Day" or the Dead Kennedys' "Holiday in Cambodia" -- really depends on how bad the news has been making you feel lately. Source: How bad the news has been making me feel lately.

7. What to watch: "Permanent Vacation" (made for just $12,000 back in 1980) and/or "Stranger Than Paradise" (which begins where it ends). Source: Jim Jarmusch and frequent existential laughter.

8. What not to watch: Giants games. Source: Armando Benitez ... you would think the Giants might've figured this out when J.T. Snow hit that game-tying three-run blast off Benitez (and the foul pole) back in Game 2 of the 2000 N.L. Division Series.

9. What to play: The Sims: Vacation video game by Electronic Arts. Source: Roommate.

10. What to drink: Several wheat beers with several lemons and/or several lemonades with vodka. Source: Bartenders and confounding summer heat.

11. What to leave behind: Cares, fears, worries, clothes, cell phones, pagers, computers, e-mails ... and work. Source: Yours truly.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/08/03/NSGN5K63I61.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle