odds & ends

11 Things: Odds and ends

Thursday, May 29, 2008

1. 1-in-1 chance:

That you are reading this right now.
That you are alive.
That you are mortal.

2. 1-in-2 chance:

That an American marriage will end in divorce.
That Clinton supporters will support Obama when she drops out of the race.
That she'll drop out of the race.

3. 1-in-3 chance:

That the war will end.
That the president will play golf again.
That conservatives will claim victory either way.

4. 1-in-4 chance:

That McCain is as "fit as a fiddle."
That you understand what "fit as a fiddle" means.
That you understand what McCain means.

5. 1-in-5 chance:

That you knew May was National Masturbation Month.
That May is somehow different from April.
That kids are giggling.

6. 1-in-6 chance:

That you knew the Butthole Surfers were reuniting.
That you knew it was the original lineup of the 1980s.
That they'll actually make it to the West Coast.

7. 1-in-7 chance:

That you agree "Monkey Man" is a better song than "Apeman."
That you understand the difference between monkeys and apes.
That creationists hate fossils.

8. 1-in-8 chance:

That you've already seen the new Weezer video on YouTube.
That you recognize every meme in it.
That you recognize the word meme.

9. 1-in-9 chance:

That you've heard of Slacker radio.
That you've tried it and liked it.
That you'll thank me if you haven't and you do.

10. 1-in-10 chance:

That you fully comprehend the difference between odds and chance.
That I fully comprehend the difference between odds and chance.
That the differences will be described as odd.

11. 1-in-11 chance:

That people will refer to this column as esoteric.
That I won't know what they mean.
That we'll say "precisely" at exactly the same time.

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/29/NSFB10U57G.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 2 of the San Francisco Chronicle