the sneetches

11 Things: The Sneetches

Thursday, April 10, 2008

1. Star-bellied versus Plain-bellied: "Now the Star-bellied Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-bellied Sneetches had none upon thars. The stars weren't so big; they were really quite small. You would think such a thing wouldn't matter at all ..." links.sfgate.com/ZCYW. (See No. 6)

2. Subculture versus culture: Kids getting tattoos and dyeing their hair pink ... to fit in? Didn't these things used to be about separation, individualism and standing out from the crowd? The subculture has become the culture, and the culture has become the subculture and guess what ... everyone's still wearing a uniform. (See No. 7)

3. Indie versus emo: Indie has been swallowed up by the mainstream, which has been swallowed up by indie, and, from what I can tell, emo's become awful(ly emotional about it). (See No. 5)

4. Alternative versus mainstream: The mainstream can't write about the alternative and have the alternative remain alternative. It spoils it by the mere act of mentioning it. Naturally, this means everyone wants to migrate to the alternative, because the alternative can discuss things without ruining them. Thus, the mainstream realizes that there is no alternative and becomes the alternative (and vice versa). (See No. 2)

5. Blogs versus newspapers: Journalists are blogging and bloggers are journalists. Soon, both sides will have consumed the other whole, and then ... (See No. 9)

6. The Mission versus the Marina: Please remind me never to mention either of these neighborhoods again. Thank you. (See No. 10)

7. San Francisco versus New York: The small city with big-city culture and big-city problems seems to envy the complexity of life in the big city. The big city with the big-city culture and big-city problems seems to envy the simplicity of life in the small city. And don't even get me started on double star-bellied Los Angeles. (See No. 11)

8. Sincerity versus insincerity: Sincere insincerity is always better than insincere sincerity, but if everyone is sincerely going to be sincerely insincere, than won't the sincerely sincere people be sincerely wondering why they've been forgotten? (See No. 3)

9. Caring versus not caring: Caring wishes it could stop caring, but is too wrapped up in itself to stop. Not caring wishes it could somehow care again, but is too wrapped up in itself to stop. Earnestness just sits there and becomes increasingly earnest about not giving a damn either way. (See No. 1)

10. Irony versus reality: Many people believe irony is dead because of 9/11. This, of course, in a world where people are killed in order to be saved - because of 9/11. And politeness and ignorance dictate that we simply agree to disagree with one another - because of 9/11. So clearly it's necessary to kill irony in order to save it - because of 9/11. (See No. 4)

11. Obama versus Clinton: Sorry, can't talk right now. Too busy secretly chatting it up with superdelegate Sylvester McMonkey McBean. Apparently, he wants all the voters to run through his machine. (See No. 8)

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/10/NSJQ101C7T.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle