bumper stickers

11 THINGS: Bumper Stickers

Thursday, November 1, 2007

1. Travel

"We can't stop here - this is bat country!"
"This is not my beautiful car"
"I'm driving this car ironically"

Perfect for: Road trips and other trips.

2. Peace

"Make Love, Not War"
"Make Levees, Not War"
"Maker's Mark, Not War"

Perfect for: San Francisco, New Orleans and yours truly.

3. War

"No, seriously ... why did we invade Iraq?"
"I love the smell of oil in the morning"
"I support the military industrial complex"

Perfect for: Those who still give a damn.

4. Personal politics

"If you aren't outraged, you aren't paying attention"
"Help the planet, kill yourself"
"Apathy rules, or something ... whatever"

Perfect for: The younger generation.

5. Presidential politics

"I never thought I'd miss Nixon"
"Honk if you voted for Bush so I can give you the finger"
"No President Left Behind"

Perfect for: California.

6. Dumbing down of America

"The proctologist called. They found your head."
"Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"
"Eschew obfuscation"

Perfect for: Texas.

7. Evolution

The ichthys fish: Jesus!
The Darwin fish: The ichthys fish with legs (i.e. the tiktaalik).
The truth fish: Eats the Darwin fish.

Perfect for: The Cthulhu (i.e. the beast that eats them all).

8. Religion

"The Rapture is not an exit strategy"
"I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life either"
"My stepmom's boyfriend says marriage is a holy sacrament"

Perfect for: Atheists.

9. Relationships

"The Moral Majority is neither"
"Men have feelings too, but who cares"
"I think, therefore I'm single"

Perfect for: Women.

10. The meaning of life

"What color will a Smurf turn if you choke it?"
"Does anal retentive have a hyphen?"
"What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"

Perfect for: Philosopher kings.

11. The end

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else"
"Without me it's just aweso"
"I never finish anyth"

Perfect

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/11/01/NS36T2RIU.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle