critical mass

11 THINGS: Gridlock edition

Friday, September 28, 2007

To help you chill out while you wait for Critical Mass to pass by, Chronicle staff writer Tim Sullivan suggests:

1. Science: Understand that Earth is rotating at a little more than 1,000 miles an hour. Multiply this by the cosine of your latitude and realize you're actually moving much faster than you think.

2. Food: Have your dinner delivered directly to your car ... via bike messenger, of course.

3. Three words: Glove compartment inventory.

4. Three letters: NPR.

5. Diagnostics: Crank-call OnStar ... (continue until all the cyclists are gone).

6. Om: Ommmmmmmmmmm.

7. Music: Iron Maiden. Volume 11 ... (oh, wait ... we're supposed to be chillin').

8. Linguistics: Come up with new swear words. Realize it's much easier than you think.

9. Sex: Briefly ponder former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. Repent.

10. Irony: Read the newspaper (paying particularly close attention to this list ... and the fact that I don't own a car).

11. Life: Breathe in and out. There. Like that.

Read Tim Sullivan's "11 Things" every Thursday in The Chronicle's 96 Hours section. E-mail: tsullivan@sfchronicle.com.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/09/28/MNTVSFIOU.DTL

This article appeared on page A - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle