the 'learning' annex

11 THINGS: The 'Learning' Annex

Thursday, August 24, 2006

1. "How to Use Angelic Energy to Heal and Empower Your Life"

What they say: Tonika Blackfeather Rinar uses her exceptional psychic abilities to connect you with one of the highest angels in the universe, a Seraph of the Seraphim. What we say: Stay home and crank some Sabbath.

2. "Decoding Your Destiny"

What they say: Dr. Carmen Herra is a master metaphysician whose clients have included Jennifer Lopez, Candice Bergen and many more. What we say: Well ... we finally understand why Bennifer broke up.

3. "Create Your Own Deconstructed T-Shirts"

What they say: Celebrities are paying big bucks to have their clothes custom-made. What we say: Buy some scissors. Class dismissed.

4. "How to Find the Man, How to Get the Man, How to Keep the Man"

What they say: Something about "Manifestah Divinatah," BS detectors and sacred commitment ceremonies. What we say: Something about BS detectors.

5. "Dating by Numbers: Use Kabbalah to Help Achieve Your Relationship Goals"

What they say: Class One: Discuss the Sefirot (leaves on the Tree of Life). Class Two: Discuss the Sefirot Yesod, or Physical Foundation. What we say: Is it possible to discuss kabbalah without discussing Madonna?

6. "Communicate With the Other World With Celebrated Psychic Author Mark Macy"

What they say: Have you ever wondered how to connect with the spirits around you? What We Say: No.

7. "Intro to Pole Dancing"

What they say: Do not wear oils, lotions or moisturizers as it impedes pole gripping and makes the pole dangerous. What we say: Um.

8. "Sell Yourself in 30 Seconds (or Less)! How to Master Elevator Speeches, Cold Calling and Even Storytelling"

What they say: Remain confident even against the odds. What we say: When giving an elevator speech, make sure no one else is in the elevator.

9. "I Have to Be Perfect: Is It True? The Work of Byron Katie"

What they say: This workshop is an opportunity to learn how to shift the way you experience your life and relationships with the Work's four questions. What we say: It's not true.

10. "Gyrate Your Way to Health With Hula Hoop Fitness"

What they say: Relieves stress through impulsive smiling, laughter and the release of endorphins. What we say: Save $29.99 and do the impulsive smiling and laughing in the comfort of your own home.

11. "Unlock Your Psychic Potential With Best-Selling Author Echo Bodine"

What they say: Avoid pitfalls commonly encountered by psychics in training. What we say: Avoid pitfalls commonly encountered by naming your child Echo.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/08/24/NSGR6KJRH91.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle