sky mall

11 THINGS: Sky Mall

Thursday, November 9, 2006

1. GPS navigator: $119 a year (free updates included). Actual map: $1.19 per lifetime (freedom to educate yourself included).

2. Pet staircase: Help pets climb furniture that's otherwise difficult for them to reach. Three steps: $79.95. Four steps: $99.95. Not owning one: $0. I'll let you decide.

3. Peaceful progression wakeup clock: Gradually increases ambient light, stimulating aromas and peaceful sounds to awaken sleepers. The peaceful progression arriving to work on a Monday clock? It doesn't exist.

4. Gravity-defying boots: Transforms walking, jumping or running into an exhilarating low-impact bounce that builds balance, burns calories and strengthens muscles. Added bonus: allows for quick getaway when others mock you for wearing them.

5. One-step blood pressure monitor: Be happy it can't read your blood pressure right after it breaks.

6. Wearable blanket: It's nice, but your average American is much more interested in "wearable" sofas, beds and love seats.

7. Million-germ-eliminating travel toothbrush sanitizer: Because a million germs just got in your mouth when you said that.

8. Marshmallow shooter: Shoots sweet, edible miniature marshmallows more than 30 feet and projects a beam of red light for pinpoint accuracy. Perfect for the home or office (or dorm, political rally or Muni bus).

9. Roof patio pet home: For $99.95, pets can enjoy the security of the enclosed area and the sunny view from the top deck. (Please note: Pets can't verify the joy.)

10. Thomas Kinkade music box: Enough said.

11. The king of all iPod docking stations: Made especially for your throne room. "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay" takes on a whole new meaning.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

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