we'd rather forget

11 THINGS: We'd Rather Forget

Thursday, May 25, 2006

1. The 1970s: Disco, fat collars, polyester, feathered hair, big combs, bellbottoms, the energy crisis, Vietnam, the Osmonds, John Denver, ahhhh!!!!! Exceptions: Afros, the Clash, the Ramones and the Sex Pistols.

2. Nixon: Watergate, resignation, pardon, turmoil, resentment. Exception: That photo with Elvis.

3. High school: The awkward awkwardness of the entire first two to three years. Exception: Discovering beer.

4. The smell of San Francisco on a hot summer day: "Someday a real rain will come," but until then we hold our breath and wince whenever it gets above 85 degrees. Exception: Ocean Beach ... when it's windy.

5. The principal's face: So I threw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich across the room. So it hit a girl in the face. The guy didn't have to be so upset about it. Exception: At least the girl forgave me.

6. Port-o-lets: Being in one at anytime, anywhere -- barf. Exceptions: none.

7. Tokyo subway at rush hour: Let me put it this way: You can move your toes and mebbe shift one inch to the left, but that's about it. Exception: The polite apologizing throughout.

8. Turning the water jug over ... and completely missing the machine: Yes ... there were approximately 30-35 other people in the room when it happened. Exception: When someone else did the very same thing.

9. Ex's: We can have mixed feelings about the good times or have mixed feelings about the bad times. Fortunately, there is a "Plan B" : Forget! Forget! Forget! Exceptions: The ones we get back together with.

10. Gov. Schwarzenegger: How the hell did this happen? I still don't understand. Exceptions: When he disagrees with the president.

11. Mortality: You mean to tell me it's all temporary?! Talk about a major major conundrum. I mean really, now -- why do anything? Exceptions: Eating, drinking, being merry.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/05/25/NSGEVITOG01.DTL

This article appeared on page H - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle