catch-22

11 THINGS: Catch-22

Thursday, February 22, 2007

1. Orr: "Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to." Example: Frank Chu (vacationing in Sweden).

2. Col. Cathcart: The group commander who desperately wants to become a general. He does whatever it takes. Example: Job applicants (without any job experience).

3. Major Major Major Major: "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major Major Major it had been all three." Example: The Warriors Warriors Warriors Warriors.

4. Milo Minderbender: His main goals were to expand mess operations and make profits for the syndicate. Example: Employees at Parsons, KBR or Halliburton.

5. Nately: His family originally enlisted him to serve in the Air Corps, believing that the war would be over by the time he finished his training and that he would mingle with "gentlemen." Example: Hmm ... I wonder.

6. Clevinger: "The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with." Example: "Scooter" Libby.

7. Doc Daneeka: The doctor who responds to patients' complaints by telling them his own troubles. Example: Your therapist's therapist's therapist's therapist.

8. Mudd: Because he had no time to be officially checked in, he was never there. Examples: Affordable housing, nonbinding measures.

9. Chaplain Tappman: "The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him." Example: Sen. Obama.

10. Dunbar: "Old? I'm not old." "You're inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age?" Example: The troops.

11. Yossarian: "He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive." Examples: Truth and hope.

Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/22/NSGDSO60381.DTL