resolutions

11 Things: Resolutions

Thursday, January 8, 2009

1. I'm really going to do it this year

What? It.
Why? To improve myself.
Why are you being so selfish? Good point.

2. Stop being so selfish

What? Think beyond yourself.
Why? Because you're not the only one.
Are you serious? Lol.

3. Be more serious

What? Stop kidding around.
Why? This is serious business.
It is? Yes, you should talk to someone.

4. Talk to someone

Who? Anyone.
Why? Because.
Because why? Because we're worried about you.

5. Stop worrying

Why? Because whatever happens happens.
What about free will? Sorry, hadn't thought about that.
Well, what are you going to do about it? Sorry, not sure yet.

6. Stop apologizing

Why? Because it's annoying.
What about when it's warranted? Like when?
Like right now! Oh. Sorry.

7. Stop making excuses

Why? I don't know.
Why don't you know? Well, you see ...
I suppose this is going to be a reason, not an excuse. Yes, exactly.

8. Stop agreeing with everyone

Why? Because you're an adult now.
So I should think for myself? Absolutely.
But what if I think for myself and agree with everyone?

9. Stop being so difficult

Why? For the sake of others.
What's the problem? There's no problem.
Who said there was a problem? Stop!

10. Stop saying stop

Why? Because it's annoying.
Why'd you just say it, then? OK, I'll stop.
I asked you not to do that! OK, I'll continue ...

11. I'm really going to do it this year

What? It.
Why? To improve myself.
Good. Shall we begin?

- Tim Sullivan, tsullivan@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/08/NSV2153U9J.DTL

This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle